Friday, January 21, 2011

End of an Era

Well tough week here on the old home front. I scraped my car against a wall on Wednesday and now have to get an estimate and go thru the process of getting the car repaired. I have an appointment to get an estimate on Saturday, Whee, just how I want to start my weekend. I told the truth to the insurance, and I get some smarty pants adjuster who has to twist the knife in my back with " Oh you do understand that this is a collision and you are at fault" I worked for an insurance company for over 10 years and "Duh" I hit something and I am at fault. I have to wonder what she would say if I was in a 5 car pile up on the 101 freeway with bodies strewn everywhere! Sheesh! I could have said it was a hit and run or something dumb, but I didn't want to deal with lies. They have a way of biting you in the ass when you least expect it. I know I made a mistake and that is why I pay for auto insurance for the unexpected issues of life.

Yesterday, we had to make the tough decision to put my ferret Noah to sleep. I had three of them, Cosmo, Newman and Noah. The first two were my anniversary present and Noah was my Christmas present. I got him on Christmas Eve and we hid him in the bathtub of the Palace Station in Las Vegas. We called them my illegal aliens as California does not allow you to buy ferrets for really stupid reasons. We lost Cosmo just before we moved in April, Newman died the day after Thanksgiving and Noah was headed to the Rainbow Bridge rather shortly. The sad things about these guys is they have short life spans, only 2-7 years. Mine were all 5. When I got them the guy said they like to be with more than one and that three is the optimum number. So three it was. Noah was the last and I really think he was lonely and just was giving up on life. He was lethargic and yesterday he couldn't walk. I gave him a bath and tried to make him comfy. But Brendan and I knew it was only a matter of time and I didn't want him to suffer.

We found a Pet ER and asked to have him put to sleep. When my pet dies at home I can handle it so much better. They went on their terms and not mine. I do not enjoy playing God deciding when an animal should die. The vet office was very nice and understanding. I guess they would have to be with a sobbing woman in the office! I couldn't stay with him to the very end and I don't even think he knew we were even there as he was so out of it. Brendan had to sign the form as I was a wreck. I know it is for the good but it still sucks. Coming home and taking his cage apart and seeing a large vast opening just reminds me of the energy that is no longer in my house or my life. They definitely without a doubt were the most comical and amazing creatures I have ever owned. I will miss them dearly. A sad close of a happy chapter in my life. RIP Noah.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Time to be new again...

Well, the New Year has finally arrived and all things get to be new again- resolutions, relationships and good intentions. How long they will last, I am not sure. One thing I am sure of is, the effort it takes to start over. Fear keeps us trapped so tightly and the New Year is a way of breaking out and making a fresh path. I find it a time to reflect on who I am, what I do and to whom I really matter to. I don't really make resolutions but rather an agreement to try to be a better person, not only to others but to myself as well. I am my own worst enemy and this is the time of year where I put up a truce with myself in hopes I will go easier on me in the New Year. It doesn't always work because each year I seem to do it again, but the alternative to stay cemented in anger and ugliness is just not acceptable to me.

So, let's start again, and again and again if that is what it takes. I plan to make 2011 a really momentous year. How about you?